From Father Richard Rohr’s blog post on “Stinkin thinkin”
For many of us these words of Father Rohr will strike home into the depth of our hearts. Why? Because from an early age, we learned to listen MORE to the voice of self-talk aimed at criticism than from that still, small voice that speaks to our heart with love. There’s nothing more haunting than that voice of condemnation inside of you that constantly badgers your soul. It doesn’t even matter if you are operating in areas of your life where you feel especially gifted, trained and prepared. The voice speaks…it speaks poison that festers into self-hatred. Yes, we can attempt to cover it up or escape it but sooner or later everyone has to deal with the “voice.”
Father Rohr gives, as usual, special insight into this issue. For those of you who read the paragraph above and said to yourself, “how did Robin know what’s going on in my head,” I have good news for you. It’s time to silent that voice or, at very least, drown it out with a voice that is louder and brings with it life-giving affirmation and love. Here’s what Richard Rohr recently wrote,
“Although we begin life, as very young children, as non-dual thinkers, usually by the age of seven we are all dualistic thinkers, and sadly many of us stay that way for the rest of our lives. Dualistic thinking is the well-practiced pattern of knowing most things by comparison. And for some reason, once we compare or label things (that is, judge things), we almost always conclude that one is good and the other not so good or even bad.
Don’t take my word for it; just notice your own thoughts and reactions. You will see that you will move almost automatically into a pattern of up or down, in or out, for me or against me, right or wrong, black or white, good or bad. It is the basic reason why the “stinkin’ thinkin’” of racism, sexism, classism, religious imperialism, and prejudice of all kinds is so hard to overcome and has lasted so long—even among nice people!
At the risk of being too cleverly alliterative (though it may help you to remember), here is the normal sequencing of the dualistic mind: it compares, it competes, it conflicts, it conspires, it condemns, it cancels out any contrary evidence, and then it crucifies with impunity. You can call it the seven C’s of delusion. This is the source of most violence…especially within ourselves. There is a reason why Jesus says, “Do not judge!” and why angels in the Bible are always saying, “Do not be afraid!” Our violence—and almost all of our unhappiness—emerges from our judging, dualistic mind—which itself comes from deeply rooted fear.”
What struck me about Rohr’s thoughts had as much to do with what he didn’t write as it did with what he did write…in other words, what appears to be an “outside of me” type of mentality is REALLY something that starts insidiously INSIDE of me (and you). “Stinkin Thinkin” always starts as the comparison, dualistic mind starts to hammer us on the inside with words of comparison (“I’m not as handsome or pretty as he/she is” or “I’ll never be that good”), competition (“I know when I look at myself that I’m a loser”), conflicts (“I’m going to get my way no matter what it costs me”), conspires (“I’ll do whatever I need to do even if it betrays my values to get what I want”), cancelling thoughts (“they are lying to me, I can’t believe what they said about me”) and finally with that proverbial stake through our heart (“I wish I were dead”). You might think I am a bit overdramatic but, trust me, many people I know and love deal with this inner critic ALL the time.
It’s time to silence that voice and to hear the words of love that can be transformative and life-refreshing to our souls. Read these words from Psalm 139:
“God, You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day.”
The beauty of those words are this – God knows us in a deeper manner than we even know ourselves and He still loves us…He still heals and forgives…He still restores and refreshes…He still, He still, He still. The only voice I know that is stronger than the inner critic is the one that called the Universe into existence. The only way to silence the dualistic mind is to understand that for God, He sees you through ONE prism…that of love. I know I need that word daily and my guess is, you do too!